Little Things Make The Big Picture

Standard

How many times do we rush off somewhere to work or an errand because the day is so busy? Many of us live to work,but I work to live. I have learned to appreciate and slow down for all the little moments that make up the big picture in life.

For me it’s getting that kiss or hug from my husband and kids before we all begin our day. The friendly wave from the crossing guards I see when I drop my son off at school. The trips to the park, pool or anywhere with my family. Talking with friends and family over a healthy Lunch or dinner. A Fun game night with cherished friends.The Much needed quiet break or nap by yourself. A thank you or any gratitude for a little gesture of kindness.

No matter who you are all these little things add up to a lot to make someones day better. These little things make our day worth it and help us look forward to another day. The little things help us lead a healthy and happy life.

Advertisements

The struggle over Raising our Girls vs Boys

Standard

Why do we raise boys and girls so differently? Maybe it’s all the different hormones that make it harder for men and women to understand each other.

Most parents will tell you that raising a child is the hardest thing you will ever do. Whether boy or girl, each child is a little different and there are always challenges. There is no cookie cutter to the perfect child because they are all unique in some way.

As a child grows up you encounter so many changes from baby to toddler and then teenager. When a child is young you marvel at all the new things they say and do.As your child learns to read and write they are watching, listening and learning our every move.Once they reach middle school and high school they have an overly informed opinion of you and other parents. After all, even if we weren’t actively teaching them they were learning what they heard and saw. Good or Bad results is up to you as a parent.

The one thing that boys and girls have in common is competing with each other. It’s always about who can one up the other,whether it’s sports, clothing, electronics, money or a new trend. As people we all want to belong in a group or be noticed for something.

For a girl who grew up as an only child I learned to do many things myself and had close boy cousins with a few girl friends. I grew up as a a bit of a tomboy so it was always difficult for me to get into the princess type drama and catty nature of most girls.

As a mother who has had a few experiences with several spoiled teenage and preteen girls with divorced parents I can tell you they create more drama and difficulties than the boys.Boys usually do naughty things to get attention but girls can be very deceitful,catty,bossy and moody drama queens.

Many men and women create little princess girls who gradually take on defiant behavior. The Princess type girls seem to get hurt feelings over small things, tease other kids not like them,constantly cry over things and try to get back at you for crazy reasons.Spoiled young princess girls seem to want things their way or no way. It doesn’t seem to matter if you promise them the rainbow, they want more. You can cart her back and forth to softball, let her have friends overnight or at friends’ houses, you do crafts with them, go to the pool, shopping and more.

On the other hand,most boys are taught to not show their feelings,plus have a more sarcastic, abrasive and joking demeanor.They are rambunctious, get into fights and yell more. I have seen so many boys and young men think they have to always be rough, tough, tell you like it is and get over things faster. They often will just go with the flow with things.

Many Husbands and wives seem to be at odds at how to handle the boys vs girls. I have seen many parents sugar coat bad behavior until it bursts out of control.I know my husband tells the boys to suck things up and always used to baby his girl.Where I would try to find out what was wrong no matter boy or girl and bandage up their boo boos and egos.

Now let me say, as a parent we do a lot for our kids and put up with a lot of stuff from our kids. There are times that we don’t know how to handle a situation.No matter boys or girls,we sometimes lose our cool and use the wrong language when we are upset with a child who will no longer listen or obey the rules. As parents we have to juggle work along with constantly keeping multiple kids entertained over long summers, so things become difficult. Even when we don’t mean it,out can come horrific words you are not supposed to say. Usually at this point both parents finally agree to be on the same page because the defiant behavior is too much.

As adults, we have plenty more experience than you and usually we will know exactly what to do. Just know as parents and adults, we are still constantly learning. Just like kids we need to be taken care of and steered in the right direction. We struggle with times where we just want to curl into a ball with all of our stresses and troubles to just pretend they don’t exist. Many times we are so exhausted or sick that we don’t have enough energy to deal with drama. There are times when we’re just having a bad day and we may have a bad attitude just like you.

Parents aren’t superhuman, we are just people that are doing the best we can to love you completely.We’ll always do everything we can to love and support you as our kids, but please realize that as parents we still need love, hugs, compassion and support to keep us going just like you.

The last  two paragraphs were revamped, but Originally posted on The Dad Letters:

Different Directions

Standard

From spring to fall brings beautiful weather and very busy times.My husband and I are both only children so we can be very demanding of time spent alone and together.There are constantly projects everywhere and places to be.So time with each other is very far and few.

In 2006 I became a step-mom of 2 adorable kids and then in 2007 I had my own child as well. I had always done childcare for other people,but then you get to send them home and get a break.With your own kids your break is bedtime.Don’t get me wrong,I love my kids.

My husband  works long hours at his full time job. He has a few hobbies which include, his scale model car building and also Race Car Inspector from Spring to late Fall.

As a mom and wife there are always things to do and places to go. Recently I went back to doing in home childcare and quit my regular job.My long time struggle with Crohn’s Disease can often make life and things more complicated.In addition I have sewing, painting and various crafts of which I barely get to because there is childcare and housework.

Now that  two of the kids are older they seem to think helping out at home is a pain.There has to be some kind of bribe or payoff in order to do weekly chores.It doesn’t help that my husband is lazy about making sure they follow through with completing tasks. As teenagers they have baseball, softball, wrestling, band and many friends to hang with.

As a break we often have bonfires and cookouts to relax. Although it is always short lived because the running is constant with kids. I often start daydreaming about vacations by the ocean beach with peace and quite. So my mind and body are constantly in a struggle going different directions.

Being a Stepmom to my Stepdaughter

Standard

When my husband and I first started dating in 2006, his 2 children were little kids that weren’t biologically mine. It was a difficult transition then and still is now. As the years have gone by, many fond memories have been and are still being built as I watch the children grow and change.

Since the beginning I have been thrilled to have a girl to buy girly things for. In some ways she reminds me of myself growing up. She loves to fish, ride her bike, swim, dance and play outside. She is a very smart and outgoing girl.

In 2007 I became pregnant with a little boy. Now there were three boys in the household. My stepdaughter was quite small,but she and the new little man were now attached at the hip. Now that she is almost a teenager and my son is 6, things are a little different. She is still a very important part of shaping his life.

My stepdaughter is now a teenager who can be a typical, catty, whiny and moody young girl. Even though she can be difficult at times I try to love her as much as she will allow.With all the Surprises it is a pleasure to see her turn into a young lady.

All of My Boys

Standard

Boys and men can be a challenge to deal with at times. I have a 15 year old stepson, a 7 year old boy and my husband to watch over.It seems that the macho male ego is built in and learned.No matter what the female tries to instill as skills and caring, the male toughness prevails.

I have a very loyal and hardworking husband who is very helpful when he is not driven in his own directions. In the spring and summer he is a Race car Inspector in addition to his regular job. He can rebuild,weld, paint and fix any vehicle. I love him for his ambition,caring, thoughtfulness and amazing baking skills. With all his admirable traits also comes complaining, doubts, and computer/video game playing.Grownup or not, he is a little boy in spirit.

My teenage stepson is smart, creative and talks a lot.His favorite things are baseball,fishing, video games, bike riding,skateboarding and ripping stuff apart. He struggles with being a big brother who wants to be in charge to a typical teen who tries to look and be cool, plus tough.He can be very argumentative and likes to challenge anyone’s authority and knowledge.

Then there is my chatty, 7 year old who can be sweet and still loves to give me hugs and sweet things. His favorite things are playing outside,legos, army men and games on his X box or I pad. He is at the age where he looks up to his male role models which means he is now becoming argumentative and tries to act tough with his friends and brother.

They are all different and the same in many ways.I love them for all the diversity they bring to my life.

Struggling to Simplify Stuff

Standard

The motivation to slim down all our stuff began with the prospect of moving to Florida in spring of 2014. For many months throughout my struggles with Crohns Disease, I have been trying to get rid of all the stuff that has built up in our house.Plus trying to keep up with housework, kids, a part-time job and stay well.

It has been a very long cold winter here which didn’t help the motivation. My Spring cleaning has continued even though it is still abnormally cold for Wisconsin. A few years ago my grandmother passed away and left me with many of her things. In addition my husband finally brought most or all of his stuff that was stored at his parents house and the crazy part is that we have been together for 9 years. Getting the family to sort and clean after school and work has been very difficult. Not to mention adding all the TV programs, phone chat/texts,computer, I pad and video games that they think can’t be postponed till later.

My kids did sort through there rooms full of clothes and toys. On one of our warmer days my husband cleaned part of the basement too. The garage has also became a catchall collector so that we can’t even park a vehicle in it.

Now my front porch is a garage sale, with stuff everywhere. It is still too cold to have a real sale, so I have been selling things on buy sell trade and other selling sites. It’s a lot of work to take pictures, post and chat back n forth with people interested in your stuff. There have been good and bad experiences with people.

Spring has arrived so Racing, baseball and softball practice has begun. Also there is only a month and a half left until school gets out. If we were having a bake sale my stepdaughter would be more excited. Things are getting done, but I’d appreciate more help selling and pricing things!

You Gotta Want the Destination of Health

Standard

Here is your pep talk article to wellness!

Remember when you were a kid and people asked who you wanted to be? Your answer might have been a teacher, farmer, fireman, policeman or an artist. Back then life was all about learning new things and having fun with friends or family.I know my parents and grandparents told me enjoy being young because when you grow up things are more challenging.

Now as a grown up life is a little more complicated because you must have a job to pay bills, have a social life and possibly a family. Day to day life is more fast paced and overwhelming.Each day there are temptations of eating processed, artificial, sugary and salty foods because they are convenient and you don’t bother to read the ingredients because it’ seems faster and you are on the go.It’s really not that hard, but you gotta want to make more conscious choices.

To travel through life’s twists and turns YOU have to figure out the who, what, where, when and why to the Destination that makes a difference in a healthy and happy living.

WHO are you going to be to make a difference in yourself and the people around. Can you make a lifestyle change to eat naturally for you and your family to stay healthy? Will you set goals and boundaries to be less stressed and have fun?

WHAT is it going to take to stay focused to eat healthy and use natural things to clean yourself and home. You need to set up a network of people to talk to you when you are tempted to steer around your destination.

WHERE will you turn for a network of friends and family that will honor your wishes to stay focused. Will you make more homemade meals,bring good snacks for on the go and pick healthier restaurants.

WHEN are you going to be ready to commit to a healthier you? Is now the time to avoid the junky alternatives that have made you gain weight,lose weight or become sicker?

WHY do you need and want to be healthier? Is it because you already have health problems that have been on a roller coaster far too long.Are you setting an example for your kids, extended family and friends to get on the ride. Do you want to be able to do more things,go more places and have more energy.