The struggle over Raising our Girls vs Boys

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Why do we raise boys and girls so differently? Maybe it’s all the different hormones that make it harder for men and women to understand each other.

Most parents will tell you that raising a child is the hardest thing you will ever do. Whether boy or girl, each child is a little different and there are always challenges. There is no cookie cutter to the perfect child because they are all unique in some way.

As a child grows up you encounter so many changes from baby to toddler and then teenager. When a child is young you marvel at all the new things they say and do.As your child learns to read and write they are watching, listening and learning our every move.Once they reach middle school and high school they have an overly informed opinion of you and other parents. After all, even if we weren’t actively teaching them they were learning what they heard and saw. Good or Bad results is up to you as a parent.

The one thing that boys and girls have in common is competing with each other. It’s always about who can one up the other,whether it’s sports, clothing, electronics, money or a new trend. As people we all want to belong in a group or be noticed for something.

For a girl who grew up as an only child I learned to do many things myself and had close boy cousins with a few girl friends. I grew up as a a bit of a tomboy so it was always difficult for me to get into the princess type drama and catty nature of most girls.

As a mother who has had a few experiences with several spoiled teenage and preteen girls with divorced parents I can tell you they create more drama and difficulties than the boys.Boys usually do naughty things to get attention but girls can be very deceitful,catty,bossy and moody drama queens.

Many men and women create little princess girls who gradually take on defiant behavior. The Princess type girls seem to get hurt feelings over small things, tease other kids not like them,constantly cry over things and try to get back at you for crazy reasons.Spoiled young princess girls seem to want things their way or no way. It doesn’t seem to matter if you promise them the rainbow, they want more. You can cart her back and forth to softball, let her have friends overnight or at friends’ houses, you do crafts with them, go to the pool, shopping and more.

On the other hand,most boys are taught to not show their feelings,plus have a more sarcastic, abrasive and joking demeanor.They are rambunctious, get into fights and yell more. I have seen so many boys and young men think they have to always be rough, tough, tell you like it is and get over things faster. They often will just go with the flow with things.

Many Husbands and wives seem to be at odds at how to handle the boys vs girls. I have seen many parents sugar coat bad behavior until it bursts out of control.I know my husband tells the boys to suck things up and always used to baby his girl.Where I would try to find out what was wrong no matter boy or girl and bandage up their boo boos and egos.

Now let me say, as a parent we do a lot for our kids and put up with a lot of stuff from our kids. There are times that we don’t know how to handle a situation.No matter boys or girls,we sometimes lose our cool and use the wrong language when we are upset with a child who will no longer listen or obey the rules. As parents we have to juggle work along with constantly keeping multiple kids entertained over long summers, so things become difficult. Even when we don’t mean it,out can come horrific words you are not supposed to say. Usually at this point both parents finally agree to be on the same page because the defiant behavior is too much.

As adults, we have plenty more experience than you and usually we will know exactly what to do. Just know as parents and adults, we are still constantly learning. Just like kids we need to be taken care of and steered in the right direction. We struggle with times where we just want to curl into a ball with all of our stresses and troubles to just pretend they don’t exist. Many times we are so exhausted or sick that we don’t have enough energy to deal with drama. There are times when we’re just having a bad day and we may have a bad attitude just like you.

Parents aren’t superhuman, we are just people that are doing the best we can to love you completely.We’ll always do everything we can to love and support you as our kids, but please realize that as parents we still need love, hugs, compassion and support to keep us going just like you.

The last  two paragraphs were revamped, but Originally posted on The Dad Letters:

All of My Boys

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Boys and men can be a challenge to deal with at times. I have a 15 year old stepson, a 7 year old boy and my husband to watch over.It seems that the macho male ego is built in and learned.No matter what the female tries to instill as skills and caring, the male toughness prevails.

I have a very loyal and hardworking husband who is very helpful when he is not driven in his own directions. In the spring and summer he is a Race car Inspector in addition to his regular job. He can rebuild,weld, paint and fix any vehicle. I love him for his ambition,caring, thoughtfulness and amazing baking skills. With all his admirable traits also comes complaining, doubts, and computer/video game playing.Grownup or not, he is a little boy in spirit.

My teenage stepson is smart, creative and talks a lot.His favorite things are baseball,fishing, video games, bike riding,skateboarding and ripping stuff apart. He struggles with being a big brother who wants to be in charge to a typical teen who tries to look and be cool, plus tough.He can be very argumentative and likes to challenge anyone’s authority and knowledge.

Then there is my chatty, 7 year old who can be sweet and still loves to give me hugs and sweet things. His favorite things are playing outside,legos, army men and games on his X box or I pad. He is at the age where he looks up to his male role models which means he is now becoming argumentative and tries to act tough with his friends and brother.

They are all different and the same in many ways.I love them for all the diversity they bring to my life.